I am not feeling better these days….a little fever with weak body … to make things worse wetaher is cloudy and making me frustrated….I feel like i have been working for sooooooooo long and I am damn tired!! Theretically its not at all true! My dad worked long 40 years with least breaks, compare to that I have done nothingn, I have been working for almost one year only!! But it seems its a forever process I am sutck in and I need a break.
When you are sick, you see all negative things around you…the beautiful scenes looks pathetic….all good movies makes u suck….all nice people are untolerable and you get the feeling of disgust for no particular reason!
And I am completely in the negative phase now, the world is kinda a worst place to live and I want to run out of here. The sweetest thing that I even enjoyed a week ago seems worthless, meanigless :( This way frustration incresases, I start feeling worse…an I become more sick and tired! Its like a never ending loop!
Anyway, I know myself, the best thing about me is the spirit I have inside will never let me live like this longer, I will come back, I know, for sure. But this is just a down phase of my life which I generally have every 1 or 2 months!
With the hope of coming back I am hating each and every single thing around me including MUSIC :( and cursing the whole world!!
A Poem: (Divine Frustration By Paloma)
Like a song trapped in a music box,
or a bird in a cage,
like a brook condemned to a dam,
my soul dreamt of an escape.
Somewhere beyond my inner walls,
Somewhere beyond must be a gate!
I searched deeper and deeper into my soul,
only to find the things I really loathed;
There must be something more than this empty glass,
something more than this broken heart.
The pain of frustration grew, like a giant reservoir;
Disappointments from all directions came pouring in.
Looking back I see the Creator’s master plan,
softly whispering to my confused soul:
“That’s right, for something better I created you.”
Divine frustration wouldn’t let me settle for less,
No wonder, look at the price He paid!
His very own son, to die in my place.
Inspired frustration, divinely appointed,
you can choose your own roads,
but not where they will end.
The road most travelled, is paved with self;
Turn your eyes in, it will lead you to hell.
You can play games,
pretend that it does not hurt.
But you can’t stop Him from telling you:
“For something better I created you”